PENTECOST 18, B – October 4, 2009

SCRIPTURES – Ps. 127; Genesis 2:18-25; Heb. 2:1-13; Mark 10:2-16

Robert Fulghum, in his book, “It Was On Fire When I Lay Down On It,” tells of a wedding he performed. The bride’s family was wealthy, and her mother arranged for a lavish ceremony. Candles and flowers filled the church, as did music from an 18 piece brass and wind ensemble; the nine couples in the wedding party wore dresses and tuxes purchased for them; four young girls spreading flower petals, and then two little ringbearers preceded her daughter down the aisle. You name it, she had it; no expense was spared. Of course, with 24 in the wedding party and so much going on, the bride had to wait quite a while for her turn to enter the church. So, to calm her nerves she sampled the various hors d’oeuvres in the church’s hall: a cheeseball or two, some black olives, a little sausage, shrimp wrapped in bacon, a cracker piled with liver pâté. Finally, the Wedding March began, and the congregation rose as she entered.

She was white as a sheet, “a living grenade with the pin pulled out,” Fulghum says. As she walked by her mother, she threw up. “She hosed the front of the chancel, hitting two bridesmaids, the groom, a ringbearer, and me.” Three cameras caught it all on videotape, preserving the scene for posterity.

There are many wedding stories, and this is because marriage – not just the wedding, but the marriage – is a public affair. Adam’s statement, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” – spoken to whom, by the way? The only other person around is Eve, and it doesn’t sound like he is speaking to her. No, Adam speaks as a prophet, proclaiming to us all that marriage is a public statement, even if the wedding is a private ceremony. Marriage is a public testimony, a man’s and a woman’s statement of their life-long and exclusive union to each other.

Perhaps you think that marriage is a private matter, a personal decision. Most people think this. Such thinking is incorrect. Marriage is neither private nor personal. It is a relationship that impacts the couple, the children they have, their family and friends, indeed, all of society.

 

For this reason, marriage is best when it begins with and rests upon God’s testimony, and not the feelings of the couple or the understanding of society. After all, we sinners do not always know what is good and best, and are often misled by our feelings and desires. God, however, is our good and wise Creator whose will is always good and which, if followed, will bless us with only what is good.

 

What does God say about marriage? What is His will? When asked about this, Jesus goes right to the source: Genesis 1 & 2, God’s creation of Adam and Eve and His bringing them together as husband and wife. From this we learn:
 

1.    Marriage is God’s work; He is the One who joins together a man and a woman as husband and wife. “God has joined together,” Jesus says. This is rather obscured today by our choosing of our own spouses after a period of dating, and the saying, “Love is blind,” is true, as we often do not see what God would have us see. But, if you consider your spouse to be a gift of God, as he or she is; or, if while unmarried you commit yourself to seeking for a spouse one who above all loves your Savior and shares your faith; then you will indeed have God’s blessing of love, joy, stability and security in your marriage. He is, after all, love itself and a God of love. If you trust and follow Him, like children, He will share Himself with you.
 

2.    Jesus also stresses, on the basis of Genesis 2, that in marriage the two become one flesh. “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Marriage is not just a piece of paper, as those who turn their back on marriage to live together proclaim. It is a public statement of a lifelong union. To live together without marriage is to selfishly say to your partner, “We’ll stay together as long as you make me happy.” It is using another, not committing yourself to another; serving your own flesh, not becoming one flesh. Such a relationship is hated by God.
 

How different is marriage. It is a relationship which God Himself blesses! It is God’s creation and gift to His people, a holy relationship in which His creating presence is at work. You should all thank God for and pray for marriage and marriages, whether you are married or not. God blesses us all by those He joins together!

But, what about when the blessedness of marriage is no longer evident? What about divorce? Yes, what about divorce. Do we ask as little children, who trust their parents and want to know their will so that they can do what pleases them? Or, do we ask like the Pharisees, who did not trust Jesus or believe Him and so had no intention of following what He said, but simply wanted to test Him and see if He would agree with them or not?

Regarding divorce, our Lord is very clear: “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” But what about Moses, who in Deuteronomy 24 allowed divorce? What about the Bible passages in which divorce is permitted in cases of adultery or desertion? Well, again I ask: do we want to listen to Jesus and follow God’s desires, or our own? “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.’ ” Divorce is never what God wants, even when a marriage has been greatly hurt by sin. You should always begin with asking what God wants, not what you want.

q   Ask this before you marry. “What kind of person would God have me marry?”

q   Ask this before you sin against your spouse. “Would God want me to be out with this person alone, without my spouse? Would God want me to be reading these magazines or watching these kind of movies? Will they make me unhappy with my spouse? Would they please my spouse?”

q   If you have been hurt by sin, especially then you need to ask what God wants you to do.

The sins of a husband and wife against each other are very difficult. Each wants to be seen as right, and often blame the other for causing the problem. Yes, sin must be confessed and turned away from. But then, God would have you forgive.

When it comes to divorce, remember: “Because of your hardness of heart [Moses] wrote you this commandment.” And, “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” Divorce is never pleasing to God, never what He wants. He wants sins to be confessed and turned from. He wants there to be forgiveness and renewed lives. After all, He came as the brother of sinners and tasted death, the punishment of sin, for everyone. On the cross He was divorced from God so that we, the guilty ones who by our sins separate ourselves from God, might be forgiven and made one with God. Let us all, then, confess our sins to Him and humbly embrace the forgiveness He won for us all on the cross. Let us forgive one another and seek His healing in and blessing upon our relationships, especially our marriages. And, let us pray for His love to fill us and renew us, and our marriages.

God wants to fill us with His love, and when He does so, He can change even the worst of things. Consider the bride who threw up, hosing two bridesmaids, the groom, a ringbearer, and the Pastor. Ten years later a party was held with family members, the wedding party, and other friends. Three TV’s were brought out and all three videos of the wedding were shown. Everyone laughed and enjoyed the party, which above all celebrated a ten year marriage which was blessed with three children.

If you start with your Savior, and continue with Him, God will bless your marriage and bring you through every difficult time. He always will, for “God has joined together.” Your marriage is His work, and His work will never fail!